Van Morrison sings of being Torn Down ala Rimbaud. This experience of finding oneself in the ‘Dark Night of the Soul’ is by no means unique to either Van the Man or Arthur Rimbaud, the wonderful French poet. Sinners and saints all speak of falling so low that they have nowhere to go but up. I believe Joseph Conrad said it best in his novel Heart of Darkness.
One has to fall into the pit before he can truly see the stars.
Please forgive this paraphrasing. I’ve been quoting Conrad for so long I have trouble remembering where he starts and I leave off.
In 1993, I had my own ‘Dark Night of the Soul’. My marriage had evaporated and I decided to load up my bicycle—four panniers, tent, sleeping bag, food, etc—and head for the Four Corners area of Colorado. I wanted to commune with the abandoned habitations of Mesa Verde. At least that was what I told myself. The real reason was I needed to be on my own so I could feel sorry for myself.
Almost as an afterthought, I brought along five spiral notebooks. I had already written a suitcase full of poetry and thought maybe I would put my hand to some more. These five notebooks would change my life.
I had ridden my bike almost religiously for years but the trip over Wolf Creek Pass and through the desert took me to the edge of what I could do. And maybe that’s what I needed. Adding to the ragged situation in my heart, I now had a body that screamed monkey curses at me. But the truth was, I was where I needed to be.
I eventually arrived at Mancos, Colorado, the gateway to the Anasazi ruins at Mesa Verde. After setting up my tent, I pulled out one of the spirals, thinking I might write a poem about my first few days. Instead, the germ of an idea for a Sci-fi short story, The Children of Yei, whispered to me, and I wrote until my eyes wouldn’t stay open. I would stay in Mancos for a week, visit Mesa Verde every day and write every night.
When it came time to leave the Four Corners, the short story had blossomed into the beginning chapters of a novel. I decided to reward myself with a treat. I would head for the Telluride Blue Grass Festival. As I pedaled up Slumgullion Pass, I found myself thinking more and more of what I would write that night. I was falling in love with this writing crap and thinking less and less of spending my days in weepy melancholy.
First of all, let me say that the Telluride Blue Grass Festival is breathtaking and then immediately follow that up with I saw very little of it. I had to write. Even as I sat on my sleeping bag in the audience, I had out my spiral (my third) and was scribbling feverishly. I looked up once to see someone offering me a beer, took it, and went back to work. By the time the festival ended, I was nearing the halfway mark of The Children of Yei. It was also time to head home.
It would be nice to tell you that I had the novel finished by the time I reached Colorado Springs, but the truth is that the final draft wouldn’t ready until 1998. That was also the year I heard about Pikes Peak Writers Conference. On a whim, I entered their writing contest.
The Children of Yei won second prize.
My ecstasy was short lived. No high powered agent or publisher clamored for this award winning story. In fact, to this day, The Children of Yei is unpublished. Although I didn’t think so at the time, this rejected novel set me on a path that has defined me for the last twenty years.
Three months ago, I released Napier’s Bones, the fifth in the Bonnie Pinkwater mystery series. It may be the best work I’ve done to date and I’m proud of it. And to think it all started with five spiral notebooks and a broken heart.
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Besides being a master of space and time, Robert Spiller is the author of the Bonnie Pinkwater mystery series: The Witch of Agnesi, A Calculated Demise, Irrational Numbers, Radical Equations. The fifth in the series, Napier’s Bones, was released in April 2015. His math teacher/sleuth uses mathematics and her knowledge of historic mathematicians to solve murders in the small Colorado town of East Plains. For thirty-five years Robert taught Mathematics at every level from Elementary through university, the last ten at Lewis Palmer Middle School. Now retired, Robert lives in Colorado Springs, Colorado with his wife Barbara.
Learn more about Robert and his mysteries at his website. He can also be found on Facebook, Twitter, and Goodreads.
Robert is giving away five PDF or Mobi copies of Napier’s Bones to readers who leave a comment on this post by midnight Mountain Time Saturday, July 4th. The winners will be announced here on Sunday, July 5th. Whether you win or not, if you would like Robert to have your email address to add to his newsletter list, mention that in your comment and I’ll pass it on.
That is a great story or a writer’s beginning. The muse must have been waiting out there in the dry lands. Congrats to Robert.
Susan Says
Thank you, Susan. It was an amazing trip. And truth be told, I still like that story. What about yourself? Did you begin writing along the Seine in Paris or perhaps in the shadow of the pyramids?
Re-visiting old stories can be a springboard to creating something new (or an improved version of the old). When I dig stuff out of my cache of old work, I’m often surprised to find it’s better than I remembered, and with revision it may become something I can market. I guess it’s not just wine that improves by sitting in the dark for 20 years 🙂
I know. The Children of Yei is still unpublished but I think it may see the light of day. Truth is though, I’m always keenest on the project I’m currently writing. I’m sure you feel the same.
Your book cover is displayed on my Facebook page for this guest blog. So I guess I’m giving Death of a Bride and Groom a little unintentional social network promotion.
I have that problem from time to time with Facebook, Bob. I’ll go in to try to promote someone else’s book and one of my covers will show up instead. Then I have to delete my post and upload the author photo or cover art separately.
Pat, don’t give it a second thought. I’m having a good time.
Hey, I’m not proud. Unintentional promotion is fine with me!
They say writers write from a place of pain. (Which makes me wonder how I became a writer.) I imagine the desert was also very inspiring.
You should revisit that first story.
You know, I might just do that. Not long ago I re-read that story and surprisingly – although I think I might have to rework the writing – the plot and the emotion still works for me. Plus it would be a nice change from all the mystery I’ve been writing as of late. What about you Alex? What do you write?
I write science fiction – space opera. My first published book was a story I wrote over thirty years ago. I’d pulled it out again, completely rewrote it, and the rest is history. That’s why I think you should go back to that story. I think it sounds really interesting.
I looked you up on Amazon. Your work looks interesting.