I read so many blog posts and Facebook updates from authors who are carrying the huge burden of producing less than the author who lives down the street or even producing less than the goal on their personal writing plan.
That prolific author Laura DiSilverio, for instance, writes 2,000 words a day no matter what. She’s disciplined.
The not so prolific me is a binge writer. I do a whole lot of other stuff until I’m ready, and then I churn out lots of words or pages of revision in a short amount of time. I’m a NaNoWriMo type of person although November isn’t always my binge month.
Laura has over 16 published books to her credit. I have three, going on four. Her writing life started earlier than mine, but that’s not the biggest reason she has so many more books than I’ll probably ever. It’s about choices. Our priorities are different.
The first time Laura told me about her 2,000 word a day commitment, I felt a little wave of guilt, and maybe a tiny, tiny urge to dump my glass of ice water glass in her lap.
Those feelings didn’t last, partly because I like Laura a lot and I love her books. I just read Incubation, the first in a dystopian YA trilogy and am eager to read the second, Incineration.
The other thing that brought my guilt and animosity under control was the “flashing before my eyes” of all the activities and tasks I choose when I’m not writing. Things like sitting outside in a lawn chair with a glass of iced tea and a book. Or doing my volunteer job as co-editor of the Rocky Mountain Fiction Writers blog (where, by the way, you’ll find some of the best writing and writing life posts on the web). Or working on the “de-clutter my house” project before the new carpet gets installed.
Are any of these things less important than working on my manuscript? Not at the moment I decide to do them. I’m finally learning to think about my choices, and once made, accept and enjoy.
So here’s a way to accept and enjoy what you do with your time, even if it’s not writing.
1. Start a “Making Peace with My Choices” notebook. Or just do it on scrap paper or make it a mental exercise—it doesn’t really matter unless you want to keep track of your choices and the excuses/reasons for not writing.
2. When you make a decision to do a task that does not fit in with your writing goals/plans, make a note of the decision, the date, and the time. Examples: Walk the dog, mop the kitchen floor, watch two more episodes of Bloodline on Netflix.
3. List three reasons why you’ve made this choice.
I want to walk the dog because I need the exercise, the dog is too rowdy and needs a walk to calm her down, and my brain is frazzled so I need a break from the computer.
It’s important to mop the kitchen floor today because I’m tired of my feet sticking to the floor when I cross the room, the dog is licking the floor in front of the sink and the stove, the floor is visibly dirty and looks disgusting.
I’m going to watch Netflix tonight because I worked hard all day and I don’t have energy for anything except vegging in front of the TV, Bloodline is an excellent show and I’ve already picked up two story ideas (yes, I jotted the ideas down and stuck them in my “Brilliant ideas” folder), I’m rewarding myself for writing 2,000 words today (or for exhausting my energy pulling weeds and using the weed whacker).
4. Examine the reasons carefully and evaluate if you’ve made the right decision for this moment.
5. If yes, carry on with your task and enjoy the experience without guilt.
Source: clipartof.com
6. If no, change your plan and go write.
It’s time we stopped beating ourselves up for our bad time management, procrastination, fear of rejection, or whatever the imaginary excuse is that day for not writing.
We make choices. We need to own them. We need to accept them and acknowledge their worth.
We’re talented, creative grownups who can decide consciously how we spend our time.
We need to stop thinking we’re failures. We must stop calling our choices procrastination and bad time management.
And most of all, we need to stop feeling guilty.
Write, or don’t write. It’s a choice, and you’re in control.
It is always a choice.
But, sometimes we make choices that don’t suit our long range goals, for expediency, for others, for the sheer exhaustion at making choices.
It is why most scitech innovations are made by the young. It’s not due to a loss of brain power, but due to the pull of family, of other interests, of mundane needs like compensation.
“…the sheer exhaustion at making choices” hits the nail on the head for me, Roy. I’m retired now, so you’d think I’d have fewer choices to make about how to spend my time. On the contrary. The opportunities to expand my experience and knowledge, piled on top of new sources of entertainment, have increased the number of choices I make each day. It’s true, however, that sometimes I shove all those choices out of my mind in favor of a quiet sit outside in the shade of the aspen tree.
I spend all day working on DLP business and other stuff. If I want to spend two hours putting a puzzle together with my husband in the evening, I have no guilt!
A puzzle sounds like fun, Diane. I have a couple up on a shelf we haven’t even cracked open yet. And then, there are those times I feel the urge to challenge my husband to a game of Scrabble or Boggle. Have a lovely evening.
Excellent advice. I do feel guilty for not making my goals and not writing as fast as I intended. I’m going to try and follow your advice.
Susan, I wonder who was responsible for laying that guilt trip on newbie writers, the one that says we aren’t writers unless we write every single day. Once we accepted it as true, we couldn’t seem to shake it off. We’ll, I’m shaking it off! I’m a writer, and I do not choose to write every day.
I love this post, Pat! Each writer is different. Each writer has different skills and needs, a different lifestyle, and different obligations. It’s hard to ‘dive in’ and really enjoy the passion in writing if one’s always feeling guilty, resentful, or something else negative. Much better to find a plan that works and see it through. Doesn’t matter in the end what one’s friend in the writer’s group is doing.
So true. We used to pressure each other in our critique group to keep everyone writing. It’s not as constructive as we thought, especially for those of us who want to spend time doing research, or outlining, or querying, or just relaxing with a good book for a change.
You’re so amazing. Yes. Yes. Yes. But it won’t stop me from feeling badly about my lack of words. I know in my heart, you’re right, but my head won’t stop calling me a slacker.
Well, you’re young, Julie. You have time to mend your ways.
Great post, Pat! And great ideas. By taking responsibility for our choices we can see that we’re actually “making” them. Sometimes when we procrastinate we think we’re going to write later, but your suggestions make it clear we’re choosing not to write in that moment. No more thinking we’re just putting the choice off. Super!
Good morning, Colleen. I love the choices I’ve been making lately. And as soon as I’m done de-cluttering and the new carpet is installed, I might even get my acrylics out of the closet, or take my camera out for a walk (and the dog, too), or even, if I’m ready, finish my wip. Lovely options…
Spot on, Patricia. Some days I am happy with 17 syllables, one haiku poem to post on my FB haiku for you page. Others, it’s editing, submitting. I will arrive to a day/time/place where 2K a day is the first option. I like your style!
Go for it, Dean. Each of us has a comfort level with writing that’s our own, and sometimes it takes awhile to discover that sweet spot for writing output.
I doubt I’ll ever reach the 2000 words per day because even the 1667 per day needed to finish NaNoWriMo is a major sprint. It’s fun for a month, but nothing I’d choose for the rest of my life.
This is great, Pat! Guilt seems omnipresent in so much of our lives. It’s important to have a full life, and if we don’t every part of it suffers. i’m with you! 🙂
Hi Jemi! The older I get, the more I realize how guilt drags us down and taints all those smart choices we make.
Love this! I sometimes struggle with the feeling of no matter what I’m doing, I should be doing “the other thing” – what ever that is. I’m getting better at owning my choices and going with them and living on purpose. Thanks for this reminder!
We have a lot to do and a lot of things on our minds, Madeline. It was easier when life was a bit slower, no internet, and no constant onslaught of information from around the world. Nowadays it pays to turn off the TV, radio, and computer for a few hours and focus on the other stuff.
The notebook is a good idea. Sometimes, other things need to be done. Or we want to do them.
You and I have the same writing style.
It took me awhile to accept I’d never be a daily writer, Alex. I’ve written a lot about procrastination in the past. I’m reading a book now that I’ll bet you’d appreciate. ” Originals: How Non-Conformists Move the World” by Adam Grant.