I have a copy of How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack in the top shelf of my bookcase, easily accessible, just in case.
It begins:
“Keep reading if you want to live.
Call them what you want. Garden gnomes. Lawn ornaments. Little evil outdoor statuary hell-bent on world domination. It doesn’t matter. What does matter is that, right now, they’re hiding in plain sight, pretending to be symbols of merriment and good will. But secretly, quietly, while pushing diminutive wheelbarrows and brandishing miniature flower-pots, they’re planning home invasions all over the world.”
Why do I bring this up now on a day when I’m supposed to post something to make you smile? Because this is urgent…sort of.
I’ve just learned that garden gnomes are not the only threat to our homes and even our lives. Now Chuck is telling us:
“Clowns are the scariest people on earth, and the truth is, they are coming for your valuables, your children, and your sanity.”
When Clowns Attack: A Guide to the Scariest People on Earth will be available in hardcover and ebook in October. I hope it won’t be too late.
You can read more about this essential guide to survival on Chuck Sambuchino’s Guide to Literary Agents Blog post of May 19th.
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P.S. My guest blogger for tomorrow is Allan J. Emerson, author of Death of a Bride and Groom. He’s talking about his experience with social media, and he’ll be giving away one copy of his mystery to someone who leaves a comment on the post.
This is urgent, Pat! Thanks for the warning. Guess he’s heard of Stephen King’s It… 😉
That’s one I haven’t read yet. If it has a clown in it, it may indeed have triggered Chuck’s warning. (P.S. I’m reading Doctor Sleep now and had no idea it was a sequel to The Shining until I started reading.)
He’s right – clowns are downright evil.
I always liked clowns, so it’s a bit of a shocker to discover they’re dangerous.