Patricia Stoltey

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Chuck Sambuchino Wants to Make You Laugh…or Does He?

May 27, 2015 By: Patricia

I have a copy of How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack in the top shelf of my bookcase, easily accessible, just in case.

It begins:

“Keep reading if you want to live.

Call them what you want. Garden gnomes. Lawn ornaments. Little evil outdoor statuary hell-bent on world domination. It doesn’t matter. What does matter is that, right now, they’re hiding in plain sight, pretending to be symbols of merriment and good will. But secretly, quietly, while pushing diminutive wheelbarrows and brandishing miniature flower-pots, they’re planning home invasions all over the world.”

Why do I bring this up now on a day when I’m supposed to post something to make you smile? Because this is urgent…sort of.

I’ve just learned that garden gnomes are not the only threat to our homes and even our lives. Now Chuck is telling us:

“Clowns are the scariest people on earth, and the truth is, they are coming for your valuables, your children, and your sanity.”

Sambuchino_ClownWhen Clowns Attack: A Guide to the Scariest People on Earth will be available in hardcover and ebook in October. I hope it won’t be too late.

You can read more about this essential guide to survival on Chuck Sambuchino’s Guide to Literary Agents Blog post of May 19th.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

P.S.  My guest blogger for tomorrow is Allan J. Emerson, author of Death of a Bride and Groom. He’s talking about his experience with social media, and he’ll be giving away one copy of his mystery to someone who leaves a comment on the post.

More from my site

  • Katie Cat on WatchKatie Cat on Watch
  • Cancer vs. the Author by Margaret Frazer
  • Killer First Sentences — June 3, 2009Killer First Sentences — June 3, 2009
  • Setting Up a Mysterious, Thrilling List of Guest Bloggers (and other stuff)Setting Up a Mysterious, Thrilling List of Guest Bloggers (and other stuff)
  • One Dilemma After AnotherOne Dilemma After Another
  • Lazy Blogger’s PostLazy Blogger’s Post

Category: Books and Authors, Writing Tag: Chuck Sambuchino, How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack, humor, When Clowns Attack

Comments

  1. Margot Kinberg says

    May 27, 2015 at 1:14 pm

    This is urgent, Pat! Thanks for the warning. Guess he’s heard of Stephen King’s It… 😉

    • Patricia says

      May 27, 2015 at 1:29 pm

      That’s one I haven’t read yet. If it has a clown in it, it may indeed have triggered Chuck’s warning. (P.S. I’m reading Doctor Sleep now and had no idea it was a sequel to The Shining until I started reading.)

  2. Alex J. Cavanaugh says

    May 27, 2015 at 11:31 am

    He’s right – clowns are downright evil.

    • Patricia says

      May 27, 2015 at 1:26 pm

      I always liked clowns, so it’s a bit of a shocker to discover they’re dangerous.

Meet Patricia

I read, I write, I blog, and sometimes I do the laundry and cook. My 2014 novel, Dead Wrong, was a finalist in the thriller category of the 2015 Colorado Book Awards. Wishing Caswell Dead (Five Star/Cengage, December 20, 2017) is a historical mystery set in 1830s Illinois in the fictitious Village of Sangamon. The novel was a finalist for the 2018 Colorado Book Awards for General Fiction. My most recent release, In Defense of Delia (Five Star/Cengage, November 2022), is available in hardcover and will soon be available in ebook and trade paperback. Read More…

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