My paternal grandmother meant a lot of different things when she said that.
Such as:
1. Don’t do or say anything in public that will embarrass you or the rest of your family.
2. Don’t do or say anything that will start a feud with the neighbors.
3. Don’t do or say anything that will make people gossip about you.
4. Don’t fail to wear clean underwear in case you get hit by a car while you’re out.
5. Don’t do anything that’s against the law (and ignorance of the law is no excuse).
6. Don’t wash your dirty linens in public.
7. If you have a skeleton in the closet, lock the closet door!
And more.
It was hard not to mess up once in a while in the old days, but when you did, hardly anyone ever heard about it if they lived more than five miles away. And family and kindly neighbors tended to have short memories.
If a person messes up now, the whole freakin’ world will hear about it. And a huge percentage will enjoy his misery so much they’ll pound away at his mistakes, his flaws, and his reputation until he’s forced into hiding. The world is full of ruthless assassins who use words as weapons of brutal destruction.
If folks haven’t learned this lesson yet, they’re taking a risk to join venues like Facebook. There are lots of people on there who behave badly under the guise of free speech. Disagree with them….and you may wish you’d never been born. Post a relatively benign opinion on pending legislation or a presidential candidate only if prepared to get shot down in flames.
So I wonder, if a person is not interested in making friends, why would she join a “social” media site?
I have a feeling a lot of folks are out there because they absolutely, positively know they know everything; are absolutely, positively sure they’re always right; and know they’ve absolutely, positively been awarded a mission to convert everyone else to their way of thinking, even if they have to use insults, degrading generalities, and vicious put-downs to win the battle, whatever the battle of the moment is. They are the “anti-socials.” They don’t know how to mind their Ps and Qs and make no effort to keep their noses clean. I believe they need their own “anti-social” site.
Now that we’re getting into the presidential election campaign cycle, it will probably get worse. And my “follows” and “friends” list will probably shrink as I dump a few more “anti-socials.” So be it.
Western United States culture attributes “mind your P’s Q’s” to the ‘Points and Questions’ of conversation. Used primarily as a reminder for the proper use of manners, grammar and dialogue in communication.
And my grandmother thought good manners were very important…I think she meant the same thing when she said “keep your nose clean.” 😀
If I’m ever in an accident that requires me to be rushed to a hospital, underwear is going to be the least of my problems. 🙂
I don’t think we worry so much about appearances these day anyway, Madeline, but it was a big deal when my grandparents were still around. No matter how hard she worked on the farm and how dirty she got, my grandmother wouldn’t go to town until she looked like a million dollars. I believe the underwear thing was just a funny way of saying we needed to make sure we were clean and presentable when going out in public.
Alas, I got gossiped about regardless of what I did or didn’t do. It’s the curse of living in a small town. And yes, I’ve lately become very aware of how people still need to learn that just because “social” media gives us a voice, doesn’t mean we should use it.
Particularly not when it reveals our ignorance, bigotry and all sorts of other ugly mentality that would have been better off un-aired.
Well said, Misha. When I was first on Facebook, I sometimes tried to add the voice of reason to a rage-filled discussion. Quickly learned that the voice of reason merely lights a firecracker under rabid ideologues.
I grew up on a farm, so there were a limited number of neighbors to observe and gossip….and they were generally kind and forgiving (after reporting to my parents, of course). 😀
I heard #4 and 5 on your list lots of times from my parents.
Strange how many people think whatever they see on social media is true, and never question it, no matter how one-sided or outlandish it is. I think some have developed an addiction to being “offended,” and to venting the rage that seems to be continually on the boil in their personality.
Allan, I even used those things on my own kids until I realized I was beginning to sound like my parents. 😀
The folks in a perpetual rage are “toxic people” and I’ve read many articles about how we should eliminate them from our lives, even if they’re relatives. Life is too short.
Anti-social network is a great idea. It could be called, ‘in your face’ instead of facebook. And Quacks instead of tweets. I’m afraid you’re right. With the election looming, it will only get worse.
Darn, I wish I had thought of those names, Susan. Maybe we could get something started here. Thanks!
I love those names! Where’s Zuckerberg when you need him?
Hi Terri — Susan is very creative, isn’t she? I wish I’d thought of those names so I could claim credit. 😀
I always wonder, Pat, at the number of people who post embarrassing (or, at least I would be embarrassed!) ‘photos on social media. Or they post their friends doing embarrassing things. Makes me wonder why people think it’s OK to do that. I wonder if people know that potential (and actual!) employers look at those things. And you have such a good point about not doing or saying anything that will stir up gossip. I think it’s easy to forget that anything you post to any social media site can be seen all around the world in micro-seconds. If we all thought – even for moment or two – before we typed something or uploaded that ‘photo, the Internet world would be a much kinder place.
Especially, Margot, if we had that “anti-social” site we could invite people to join. And look, Susan has a great suggestion for what it should be called!
An anti-social site – brilliant!
The bit about the underwear is funny.
Haven’t you ever heard that underwear warning before, Alex? I always thought it was a general warning that we might end up in an ambulance or emergency room and therefore should be groomed in a way that wouldn’t embarrass us or our parents (clean ears and neck, no frayed underwear or worn out clothing, etc.).